dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
