Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
