People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
