I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
