Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
