hotel room ftw
Pappa wants mamma naked
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
