He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
