STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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