That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
