He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
