Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
