I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i think my cat just said my name.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
