dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
