everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
