I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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