i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
