I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
