I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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