woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
