If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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