You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
