Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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