just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
