I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
