I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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