where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Someone stole a lamp last night.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
