Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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