BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
