nut hugger
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
