was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
