She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
two words: eviction party
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
