currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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