fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
