I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
