I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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