I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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