I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
