No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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