is wine microwaveable?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
