It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
