you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
