you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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