Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
