Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
