just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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