Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
