Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
