Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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