she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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