dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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