Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
