I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
